A fun way to do this is in three-hour increments. If we feel any moral responsibility toward our community and the globe at large, and/or a fever, we owe it to each other to stay the fuck at home for the next few weeks (at the very least).Īnd if the prospect of staying at home horrifies you, it’s important to trick yourself into locking yourself down. In quarantine (self-imposed or not), time is now stretched out ahead of us like a uniquely terrible red carpet, or the gaping maw of an intensely gravitational black hole. Nor are we bound by the concept of social functions.

But the thing about our current reality, in which not even Tom Hanks can escape the effects of a global pandemic, is that we are no longer bound by any standard. Detractors of the film argue, among other things, that this is far too long by any standard. I want to be clear: Meet Joe Black is actually three hours and one minute long. People usually reply with the same thing: “I have watched it and it is terrible,” or “No, it’s supposed to be terrible,” or “It is three hours long and you already made me watch it several times with you,” or “I am Brad Pitt’s lawyer and you are violating the terms of his restraining order.” I am not financially compensated for this campaigning, nor does it win me any points with friends. I just really love this earnest, dumb, huge sloppy joe of a movie.

Contrary to popular belief, I did not direct it.

Since the late ‘90s, I have spent a lot of time at various social functions trying to convince people to watch Meet Joe Black. Eating the peanut butter he bought to self-quarantine.

Meet joe black soundtrack someone else